'Splitting from Angelina was like death, I blame myself' Brad Pitt talks losing the actress, calls himself an emotional retard

Actor Brad Pitt became quite reclusive following his separation from Angelina Jolie, but he recently came out of his shell for an interview with US GQ Style. He revealed quite a lot during the interview, which is his first since the couple announced their separation.

The former sexiest man alive revealed that he drank so much and became a professional at it to the extent that it damaged his relationship and ripped his family apart.


He, therefore, concluded that the split was "self-inflicted". According to him, he could drink a "Russian under the table with his own Vodka". Speaking of his addiction to alcohol, the father-of-six said:

 

 "I was a professional. I was good. I was boozing too much. It’s just become a problem. And I’m really happy it’s been half a year now, which is bittersweet, but I’ve got my feelings in my fingertips again."

He added: "I mean, we have a winery. I enjoy wine very, very much, but I just ran it to the ground. I had to step away for a minute. But me, personally, I can’t remember a day since I got out of college when I wasn’t boozing or had a spliff, or something. I mean I stopped everything except boozing when I started my family. But even this last year, you know - things I wasn’t dealing with."

Pitt has now stopped drinking completely and is in therapy, which he said he loves. He disclosed that he had to go through two therapists to get the right one. In place of alcohol, he now drinks only Cranberry juice and fizzy water. In addition, the Mr. and Mrs. Smith star admitted that he spent too much time away from his children working on films and because of how busy he got, he failed to be attentive to them, but he intends to do better henceforth.

He said: "I say that as someone who's let the work take me away. Kids are so delicate. They absorb everything. They need to have their hand held and things explained. They need to be listened to. When I get in that busy work mode, I'm not hearing. I want to be better at that. It's hit me smack in the face with our divorce: I gotta be more. I gotta be more for them. I have to show them."

Speaking of his movie career in the past nine months since his marriage ended, Brad told the magazine that films no longer provide the satisfaction it held for him before and it now takes only little of his time and focus. He even went as far as wishing he could have a name change.

"I don't really think of myself much as an actor anymore. It takes up so little of my year and my focus. Film feels like a cheap pass for me, as a way to get at those hard feelings. It doesn't work anymore, especially being a dad... I wish I could just change my name."

Brad, who graced the cover of the popular men magazine, said that he was devastated after he and Jolie split and returning to his home in Beverly Hills was so tough, he needed to get away. He ended up sleeping on a friend's floor for six weeks while adapting to his new life without Jolie.

"It was too sad to be here at first, so I went and stayed on a friend's floor, a little bungalow in Santa Monica. I crashed over here a little bit, my friend (David) Fincher lives right here. He's always going to have an open door for me, and I was doing a lot of stuff on the Westside, so I stayed at my friend's house on the floor for a month and a half."

Jolie filed for divorce from Pitt in September 2016 following an alleged altercation on a private jet between the actor and their 15-year-old son, Maddox. The plane incident led to Pitt getting investigated by the FBI following an anonymous tip-off. It was later closed with no charges but he faced a series of obstacles from Child Services as he tried to regain access to his six children. He and Jolie are now working out their divorce privately, through the help of group counseling as a family.

"I was really on my back and chained to a system when Child Services was called. After that, we've been able to work together to sort this out. We're both doing our best. I heard one lawyer say, 'No one wins in court - it's just a matter of who gets hurt worse.' And it seems to be true," the 53-year-old said.

"You spend a year just focused on building a case to prove your point and why you're right and why they're wrong, and it's just an investment in vitriolic hatred. I just refuse. And fortunately, my partner in this agrees. It's just very, very jarring for the kids, to suddenly have their family ripped apart."

Brad sounded really mature during the interview, admitting the part he played in the breakdown of his marriage, and this maturity could be attributed to the therapy he's been getting. He admitted that he hit the lottery with Jolie yet wasted his time chasing after meaningless things and he promised to make efforts to do better.

"For me this period has really been about looking at my weaknesses and failures and owning my side of the street. I'm an a**hole when it comes to this need for justice. I don't know where it comes from, this hollow quest for justice for some perceived slight. I can drill on that for days and years.  It's done me no good whatsoever. It's such a silly idea, the idea that the world is fair. And this is coming from a guy who hit the lottery, I'm well aware of that. I hit the lottery, and I still would waste my time on those hollow pursuits."

Things seem to be improving between Pitt and his family and it was reported that his kids - all six of them - spent the weekend with him at his Los Feliz home in Los Angeles for the first time in seven months. Last month, a source also told ET that Brad had been speaking directly to his estranged wife about doing what's best for their children.